Monday, February 2, 2015

Feeling adrift

I'm usually down in the winter but I have more issues to deal with this winter.  Yesterday was my Ex's birthday and I felt badly because I knew he was alone.  It was his own doing, but I still felt badly.  Isn't that a typical woman?  It has now been nearly three months since I told him I was leaving.  I'm starting to dream about him, but not as he is.  I'm dreaming about him as I wish he was.

I'm feeling guilty and tired and lonely and hopeless.  As long as I get my child support and alimony I'm doing okay...but I can't count on it.  I feel that I can't get ahead.  I did some research on other jobs that I could get in this area with minimal schooling.  I can't really find a job making much more money.

I'm overwhelmingly tired...sleepy too.  I could nap now.  I'm also feeling the depression monkey climbing on my back.  I'm not sure how to deal with that.  I've been eating poorly lately.  I wonder if cutting sugar out of my diet would help?

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