Saturday, February 20, 2010

A nothing day

Today my middle daughter was the only one who had to go to school. I got up and threw some clothes on and got her off to school. Then I came back into the house, got back into my pajamas and went back to bed. I slept until noon.

I spent the rest of the day in bed, on the computer. Doing nothing. I didn't fix any meals for the kids. I managed to fold one load of laundry, but that was it. I can't believe I got nothing done today. I never even took a shower. My kids watched TV all day. I have the first two seasons of "Charmed" on DVD and my daughters wanted to watch it. I'd resisted letting them watch the show because there is way too much casual sex, skimpy clothes, loose morals, not to mention witchcraft. But today I was so tired and worn out that I was simply relieved that they were busy all day and left me alone. Way to go mom. I'm managing to hit new lows every day.

My son said "Well you are sick!" Which is in part true, I'm still coughing. But I'm not really sick. I'm depressed. How do you explain that to a teenager?

I hope that tomorrow I manage to do more. I had a dream that keeps haunting me. There was a rattlesnake in a lighting fixture over my bed. My mom shot it for me and it dropped onto my bed. I covered it with a sheet and decided to do something about it later. The entire day passed and I finally decided to dispose of the dead snake so I could go to bed. But it wasn't dead and it bit me. I knew that if I had dealt with it right away that it would have been too stunned to hurt me, but my own procrastination had caused me to leave it so that I was bitten and might be dying.

A powerful dream that doesn't need much work to interpret.

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